Good times....

Just as a warning, this post is mainly for myself more than anyone. Every day the quotes I try to remember are numerous, and I'm realizing if I don't document some of them I wont have anything to look back on when I want to reminisce about my first taste of life as a PT. For those that are interested, I tried to keep the abbreviations to a minimum, but just in case...pt means patient and CI is my clinical instructor, the therapist that I shadow/that shadows me now that I am just a few short weeks from being done. Some of these quotes may not seem too funny written out of context, but trust me, you would've enjoyed being a fly on the wall....

Me to patient laying in bed: "So Peggy, ya ready for therapy?"

Peggy, eyes closed: "Just let me sleep"

Me, cheery as ever: "Of course! Right after you are finished with me you have the whole afternoon to just do as you please!"

Peggy, one eye open: "Shoot me in the head and just leave me to die."

And at the end of our session as I'm wheeling her back into the room...

Me, still peppy as all hell: "So, where should I leave ya? Do you want to get back into bed, stay in the chair....?"

Peggy: "Just push me to a corner and let me die!"

As pt is on the toilet informing me and my CI she's ready to be wiped...

My CI: "Why don't you give it a shot..."

Pt: "DO NOT AGGRAVATE ME RIGHT NOW! YOU THINK I LIKE ASKING PEOPLE TO WIPE MY ASS?!"

Which I thought was a very good point, meaning I am one wiped butt closer to being a real physical therapist.

Julie to me, upon asking her to sit up in bed for therapy: "You are a mean, mean person."

Julie, after I agreed, and then insisted that she get up anyways: "The man who marries you had better watch out!"

Me: "Why, 'because I'll boss him around?"

Julie: "Yup."

Me: "Well Julie, maybe that's why I'm still single."

Patient, upon meeting her night nurse and telling him she would rather have a woman take care of her:

"I didnt want to hurt his feelings, but do you really think there are other women here who'd be okay with a BLACK man helping them shower?"

I must admit I was just speechless. Blunt racism is not something I am used to encountering, apparently.

Virgi, most articulate 94 year old ever (see facebook for visual): "I need my kerchief on, I don't want to look like the witch of Endor!" Which prompted a lesson on famous witches in literature....

Virgi: "I feel like my backside is protruding..."

Nurse: "honey, all our backsides are protruding!"

(For the record, she was in a hospital gown at the time, and quite accurate in regards to the state of her rear end.)

Patient who rarely speaks words at a time let alone sentences, 30 seconds before poop hit the floor during a treatment session: "I seem to be farting a lot."

You don't say.....

My CI, discussing the importance of fall prevention to a husband who's 70 year old wife had a stroke: "The last thing we want is the two of you on the floor together"

Husband: "I dont know, we could have a lot of fun down there...."

Louie, one of my favorite patients ever: "This morning I bullshitted the doc. I got em real good! I pulls em into the bathroom while I'm pissin and says 'So doc, how's this coumadin (blood thinner) gonna affect my sex life, I mean, can I still get it on with the neighbor lady or what?' He got all serious and tells me there's risks with my medication, I don't want to strain myself...didnt realize till I'ze laughin that I was pullin his leg!"

Patient to someone on the phone: "I gotta go, there's two gals here from physical therapy here: one young, one....not so young"

Me: "Oh, your granddaughter's gonna be here next week? Are we gonna like her?"

Mildred (whose bilateral knee surgery I watched!): "NO!"

Me: "So, are you in any pain?"

Mildred: "I feel like there's a fistfull of pens jammed up my rectum!"

Me: "Right then. Let's try standing shall we?"

A Dollar Well Spent

Two posts in one night after weeks since a decent posting, the excitement is too much to bare, I know. That being said, here's a random bit about my weekend yardsaleing adventures....

So, to reiterate, this weekend I went to yardsales, plural. I meant to spend no money, I spent almost $50, dont ask. Where did just one of those dollars go you ask? I'll tell. For a dollar I bought a frame full of random colored glass pieces. When I first picked it up, I thought, well this is ugly and not worth a dollar, but then I realized that when held up to the light, it was quite pretty. Blues and greens and oranges and whatnot. So I get home pretty ecstatic and put it in my bedroom window where it immediately fills with light and is gorgeous. I bask in the beauty of it, leave the room, and then return later, at which point I think "hmm, it's almost as if there's a pattern in it". Which is when I realized there is, and, you guessed it, it's a cross. Ha! But Damn it. As most of you know, I was not raised along religious lines and have not seen the light on my own, so under normal circumstances, there is no way such a piece of artwork would be in my home. For now the piece is staying (although it is sideways which I guess would be considered blasphemous by many standards), but it makes me smile every time I look at it. Perhaps it is His way of bringing me joy, I may never know.

Sort of similar to a trip Brittany and I took to a cat store, in which my parents informed us we could each choose ONE thing to buy. Seeing as how at that age (11), a cat store was pretty much my idea of heaven on earth (my lack of religious upbringing aside), what to chose amounted to about the biggest dilemma I'd thusfar encountered in life. After much contemplation, I purchased a magnet that said "sleep with me, sleep with my cat". Why this of all things in the store seemed to be the best choice, I'll never know. Why my parents did not persuade me to perhaps rethink my purchase, I'll also never understand. All I know is that the saying I took to mean "sleep in my trundle bed during a sleepover, sleep with my cat", took on a whole new meaning when my eighth-grade friends pointed out it's dirtier connotation. Forever scarred and horribly embarrassed, I hid the magnet deep in one of my drawers, only to find it when I was packing for college. Since then it has been a staple on every refrigerator I've used over the years, and to this day the sight of it/story still cracks me up. I dont know if this cross is destined to have the same length of stay, but for now it's out in all it's glory.

Blood, Guts, and Conservative Gore

My workweek started out at 4:50am this morning! Which really was 6:30, but from alarm on, I was officially up in the 4s. Why you ask? Ok, I'll tell. I was watching surgeries! Having never had a surgery, nor witnessed one as of this am, I am now proud and excited to say I have seen 7 total knee replacements! Which means I am basically an expert. I was in the room, wore the scrubs, the facemask, the booties, even got flecked with some bodily substance at one point! Biohazard? yes. Initially, they showed me the chairs in the room, told me if I felt faint that was fine, normal even. They didnt know they were dealing with a champ, obviously. 7 surgeries and 11 hours later I was officially declared the longest lasting observer ever! Last Intern Standing, check. It's amazing how quickly it becomes routine though. That being said, the amount of sawing and hammering and overall trauma associated with a total joint replacement is uncanny. As is listening to the conversations that take place during said procedure. If I learned one thing today it was: if given the opportunity I am presented with two potential future husbands and one is a surgeon and the other is, whatever, go with surgeon. Economic depression my ass. His lifestyle was one I both envy and despise. Example:

Dr: "I took my son driving yesterday for the first time, it was quite the right of passage."

Asst: "In the Porsch?"

Dr: "No no"

Asst: "SUV?"

Dr: "No."

Asst: "the jaguar?"

Dr: "No, just my wife's old suburban".

Salary aside, he was very nice, talked me through many aspects of each procedure and answered all my questions, and is allowing me to come back on wed to see two other surgeries (shldr and hip this time, I'm good on the knee thing). It's cool because two of the patients I saw today just might end up in rehab, which means I'll get to see them start to finish.

The only downside to today, was the Dr's discussion of how despicable it was that there'd been a gay pride parade in Olympia yesterday--apparently he took it as a personal affront that "they" had the audacity to show up in costume and parade about in what was certainly an attempt at ruining father's day. And if not to ruin father's day, than it was definitely in honor of the solstice, which, as everybody knows, is when all the "witches and warlocks come out of hiding". This coming from a man who two seconds later when asked if he'd seen any good movies, starts talking about one involving WWII that was, in his opinion great, because it involved Nazis getting blown to bits "which is always a good thing". Which then prompted a shift in conversation to more current genocides, how atrocious he believes them to be, and how depressing it is that for as far as mankind has come, we still can be so inhumane. For someone who bases their profession on logic, the hypocrisy here just astounds me. In fact, I had to practice some deep breathing and full blown empathy to not let the conversation cloud my otherwise delightful experience in the OR (operating room that is). Just to keep on this tangent for a bit longer, the Dr also mentioned, bringing up the parade again hours later, that he couldnt even stomach a different, yet to him similarly disturbing, parade honoring mother earth, during which everyone dresses like animals/creatures and wanders around the capitol. In his next breath he informed us that what he DID want to see, was "that garden show" that takes place in homes and parks around Olympia, because "it's gotta be just beautiful". Again, the ridiculousness of someone who cannot stomach the thought of a parade that celebrates the earth (aka nature) expressing interest in attending a tour of just that, except with the safer "garden" label, blows me away. So maybe I'd rather not marry a surgeon....

PT Time!

It has been a full past couple of weeks.  The main news is I started my first internship--in-patient rehab in a hospital in Olympia, WA.  That's the capitol in case you need a refresher.  Despite being a shorter drive from T-town than Seattle, I really have spent about zero time there in the sevenish years I've been up here.  In fact, aside from knowing that the lightposts lining the freeway are tall and skinny, I really couldnt have told you much about the place prior to May 26th.  Thanks to my terrible sense of direction and the unfounded belief that, when I'm lost, I5--inevitably the road I'm looking for--is just a few blocks away meaning that stopping to ask for directions would be ridiculously unnecessary, I have actually managed to see much of the countryside surrounding the hospital.  The city is the type of green that reminds me of home.  It is not that Tacoma lacks trees, but there is something about the sprawling fields, greenery of all shades and openness of the land that is different from just 30 miles north.  I have a tendency to irrationally like or dislike people, and I think this applies to cities as well.  And I irrationally like Olympia.  I got a bike map today, and next week my goal is to do all my runs after work on the extensive trail system that, at least on paper, seems to weave itself around the city, extending to Mt. Rainier and beyond.  I also have tentative plans to visit their farmer's market during one of my lunch breaks and this morning I realized there is a co-op two blocks from my work!  I can't wait to explore it all next week!  

When it comes to patients, I have already learned so much.  The ages and diagnoses have ranged from 23-94, and included head injuries, cancer, multi-trauma and strokes to the left/right side of the brain and cerebellum.  I see the patients 2x a day, for about 45min at a time.  Every day is unique, and the different personalities of the patients and their family members makes the time pass quickly.  Progress is easy to see, as many of the patients come to us straight from acute care as soon as their vital signs/condition is stabilized.  Many of the stroke patients we see can hardly move the affected side of their body when they first arrive, so we are the ones who get to witness the muscles recover--meaning the patients often are giving us credit for movement that we are helping facilitate, yes, but really not responsible for.  In any event, they are excited, we are excited, and as they go home you really get to feel as if your work is making a difference.  Although this population is a far cry from the athlete that most people, including myself, enter the profession thinking they want to work with, as of right now in-patient rehab could definitely be in my future.  So You Think You Can Dance is limiting my ability to concentrate, so I will have to discuss patient stories at a later date....

Graduations, Arcata-inspired lessons and perhaps a new place to call home

Year two of grad school, check.  Now there's just a few large tests, research presentation, one year of classes/internships and a 3-month internship that starts tomorrow between me and the title "Dr".  I think this is understandibly both exciting and scary.  

Speaking of exciting/scary, my little sister graduated from Humboldt State!  I returned home post-finals to see her in the cap and gown and was reminded of many things.....

1.  Graduations are boring, even when you love the person who's doing the walking

2.  The sun always manages to come out in Arcata, just when you're thinking the fog is the reason you could never return to live there 

3.  Sunscreen is really something I should start taking seriously

4.  Playing dress-up out of other people's closets is always fun

5.  I am the bitchiest of us Athings

6.  Playing beer-pong is doubly entertaining when the opponents are your parents and when they are playing with an entire bottle of wine split between glasses

7.  I need to own a hottub when I'm rich or thereabouts

8.  Homemade sushi is my favorite meal

9.  Stand-up comedy is hilarious, and especially funny to hear retold while hiking 

10.  It's never too early to start scrubbing mold off your bathroom ceiling....unless your older sister is a sucker/at a loss for what to get the graduate who only needs things that cost on the order of $100+

11.  If you think dancing on stage while unbuttoning your jeans and hiking your shirt up so that your bra and panties are showing is a good idea, you're probably 1.  at Sidelines 2.  ready to stop drinking    

12.  I love running in the forest, but the trails I ran in highschool aren't quite as hardcore as I thought they were (which is not to say that running them hungover is easy)

13.  I like being in a town where organic is the norm and soymilk is automatically out at all coffee shops 

14.  Despite the fact that I grew up in Humboldt, while laying out in the sun at the river I am proud to report that I did NOT know that the question "do you burn?" means do I want to smoke pot (I'm sure I would have gotten there eventually, but my first thought was definitely more along the sunburn line).... Although I was told by one of those that DOES, that this was funny, since he'd only been here (Humboldt) 3.5 years and knew that, I am proud to report I did not lash back that it was the precise fact that so many that move up to Arcata feel the need to become addicted to pot, grow dreadlocks, stop showering, and wear huge hemp necklaces that made me want to leave

15.  Dirty Hippie stereotypes aside, I still really enjoyed the feeble protest attempts of a man standing on the day of graduation--on which I believe I saw more cars/traffic in Arcata than I have in all my years--with a "stop driving pollution death machines" sign 

16.  It only takes one night of reality TV to make me hooked (and I agree with my mom that Adam should have won American Idol hands down)

17.  A strength and conditioning class that involves basically squatting with weights for an hour followed by a 10-hour car ride is a recipe for soreness when combined with a person who only exercises by running, and an 18 mile run the morning following aforementioned workout makes eccentric contraction of every leg muscle just about impossible.  Note the usage of the term "eccentric"; you're impressed by my usage of semicolons and PT jargon I know.  

18.  Corvallis isn't a shithole after all

19.  Having a 7yr old girl tell you about their rock-climbing induced "front-wedgie" is priceless

20.  I need to live closer to my sister

Well, that's a nice round random top-20 list, so I'll stop.  I should mention that on the way down I dropped Gomez off with Erin and Matt, but have now adopted Zeus/Z, or Zeke as I like to call him.  I am officially a cat-lady I think.  This one will be with me all summer while his owner, a guy in my program, is in San Diego for his internship.  He has six toes on his front paws. In other words he's a bit creepy....

Also, I returned home late friday (the song I chose to sing on repeat for this drive was "Little Black Sandals" by Sia, fyi)  only to leave for Bellingham on Saturday for Ski to Sea, a race that involves teams that x-contry ski, snowboard, run, canoe, kayak, road and mountain bike in an all-day race.  Controversy surrounds the official placing of team Hustle, for which I was there supporting, but one thing is for sure, with a bit of training a legitimate 2nd place finish in the Recreational division is definitely possible, especially if the all-star team Kaite and I put together turns out (Victoria, Taryn, Lindsey, Laurie, Julia if you are reading this start mentally preparing for a new reason to fly back to the Tacoma area next year).  Bellingham was uncharacteristically beautiful this weekend I am told, but even so, it may just be the big city version of Arcata I've been hoping to find.....

     

   

Flip-Cup Master

It's official, I did NOT have swine flu.  I finally heard back from the lady I nanny for, and although she was in the hospital until Thursday last week, and will be taking this coming week off work due to the illness, there was no mention of her being the only confirmed case of swine flu in Pierce county.  This is a bit of a let down, since I was starting to honestly believe that I had conquered the notorious disease.  My claim to fame lies elsewhere I guess.  

As proof of no swine flu/recovery I was able to keep up with the TNTers yesterday during a 17 mile run, which went even better than I could have expected.  We ran out in Orting, which was sunny and green, with cows, emus and multiple river crossings (on bridges mind you).  8:35 miles--and that even included stops for water, gu, and a few chats with mentees!  I finally feel like all the time I put in on the streets is translating.  I'm used to being a mediocre athlete, but if I could keep that pace up for a marathon I'd qualify for Boston!  Not gonna lie, it's a goal.  As I was stretching post-run, I realized my right arm/back was more painful than anything.....as I racked my brain to figure out why running would cause such soreness, it dawned on me that I'd played Wii bowling the day before. One game, but I swear I am the most spastic virtual bowler, and as a result it gets me every time!  

To prevent running-induced soreness, and because I have been known to develop temporary fevers post-long runs, I followed my coach's advice and took an ice-bath when I got home. Yikes!  Even while eating soup and distracting myself with an episode of Prisonbreak it was still quite painful.  I think I may prefer tight muscles, but it did feel hardcore....

In other news, I made it up to Seattle yesterday for combination early evening Dylan's b-day BBQ and a later-night "Toto we're not in SpoKansas anymore" (aka Spokane/Wizard of Oz) themed TNT fundraising BBQ my friend Andrew was hosting.  I was hesitant going into the evening, mainly because Andrew is the only one I knew, but it was quite refreshing to hang out with a new crowd.  As was the fact that Andrew has a new girlfriend, which means I didnt have to deal with the usual set of unsolicited advances.  The night was great for social-skill maintenance, aka the "seeing as how I have to drive home and cant rely solely on getting wasted to become integrated into this scene, how many friends can I make this evening?" game.  Quite a few, as it turns out.  Thanks to the magical game of flip-cup, I soon had many friends, became officially in charge of flip-cup recruitment/refereeing (even though I was probably the worst player there....),  encouraged two people to do keg stands, helped hold the legs of those two individuals during said keg stands--which I learned is much more difficult than it looks, initiated the usage of a funnel that had previously been part of a tin-man's hat costume as a giant keg cup, and made three new facebook friends--one of which I had previously met and be-friended on facebook per his request, but upon seeing me he confessed that he had recently downsized his facebook page to include only his 200+ true friends, of which I apparently was not.  The nerve.  I'm pleased to report that as of today our friendship is officially back on.  Thank goodness.  

Finals tomorrow, and the fact that midnight is quickly advancing means it is time for this post to end, but before it does I would like to point out that I left every window in my car rolled down a bit (there was a campfire last night and I dont think the clothes I was wearing or my car will ever be the same) and it is raining and I am choosing laziness over responsibility and not doing anything about it. Poor Honda.  

On the Plus Side

I am on day #2 of no fever, which means I am writing from the Mandolin instead of wasting away in bed, a much appreciated change of scenery obviously.  I must admit I am pretty pleased with the tenacity of the flu I had, I mean go big or go home is definitely my motto with being sick (hence the liking of fevers in general), and a fever that lasts for five days definitely fits this description.  Really turned the whole "to run or not to run" dilemma on its head (aka "to go to urgent care, or not to go to urgent care").  Ultimately, my bank account and all those reading this will be happy to know that my ferocious immune system didnt need help from the white coats to heal itself.  On a not too distant sidenote, however, Julia's mom is currently in the hospital with the flu and pneumonia.  According to her boyfriend, they have not ruled out swine flu in her case, so she is quarantined and there are huge warning signs surrounding her room.  Turns out it is most likely her that got me sick, not her daughter.  Which is a plus seeing as how I am quite a fan of the kid her genetic material helped produced, but not such a huge fan of her in general.  Not that that means I'd wish for her to be the first in WA diagnosed with swine flu, mind you.  

On the plus side of all this sickiness, I felt well enough to walk from my apt down to the waterfront yesterday morning to see the marathoners run by.  The Tacoma Marathon can be pretty lonely, so I was happy to be at least one token of inspiration, although watching was more of a selfish act than anything.  Nothing like seeing all those people out there, running with terrible form, obvious limps and the weirdest combination of outfits/survival suits/gel-carrying fanny packs to remind me why I love the sport.  Plus, I think running may be one of the only sports where the participants, not all, but a fair amount, actually take the time to say "thanks for coming out".  At first I was just cheering, but I soon learned that the "good job, looking good" cheer in combination with the hearty clap has an about 90% return rate on some form of acknowledgment of gratitude, so it soon became a constant clapping/shouting affair.  Amounted to more strenuous activity than I'd had combined since Tuesday I believe.  

Another plus to this version of TCM participation was the sighting of my potential future husband.  About six or seven runners into the full marathon there he was, tall, tan, perfectly fit and obviously, kicking butt.  Somehow I didnt see his face, but from the back he was perfect, as was the fact that he had friends that had ridden bikes and were shouting to put my clap/cheer combo to shame from way up on the hill looking over Ruston Way.  That's how I learned his name was Weston, and when he shouted something back to them all enthusiastically, that is when I decided that clearly his personality probably went along with his good looks.  I then called Katie, waking her up even though I knew she wasnt there with me due to the early hour of the event, to inform her we would be needing to watch the race from an additional location in order to see this man again.  Like a champ, a true friend, and anyone who is atypically inspired by endurance sporting events, she was on board.  We watched from the finish line, because by the time I finished cheering on one of my team in training coaches in the half marathon, Speedy McHandsome was approaching the finish.  I wasn't as impressed by him from the front, but one could argue that anyone at the end of a 26 mile race that looks super hot probably was more concerned with their appearance throughout the race than the sport, which therefore makes said hotness unimportant.  All I know is he crossed the line in the top 10, and he's 29 and from Lakewood.  So even though we're probably soulmates, that's the end of that.  

Plus number three of the watching and not participating was getting to see the kids marathon cross the finish.  Beyond adorable.  My favorite was the most obese of kids of course.  There are some fat kids that just gross me out, but others are just fucking cute, and he was.  Rotund belly stretching the front of his shirt, mouth open gasping for air, narrowly missing the giant orange cones that divided the finish line into two lanes as he attempted to go around two half marathoners that were walking through the chute at the same time....Favorite.  

The final plus is that I've decided that I will be entering more, not less, running events in the next year.  Yesterday they made an announcement about there being a 79yr old on the course who was running his 445th marathon.  While I dont KNOW know, I saw this man, instinctively I know he was one of the early starters that was literally running in the "im a little teapot" position and who told me, as he ran past and I cheered, "oh, I'm not wearing my glasses, I thought you were a pole".  Another favorite, and definitely a new hero.  

If I'm gonna get anywhere close to 445 runs into this lifetime, I've got to step it up.  And now I'm off to CHWS for the final check-up, to make sure I can do just that.  

Oh Swine Flu

I did it.  I have a blog.  I think that officially means I am part of the 21st century.  Turns out it takes less than a minute to do, who knew?  Blog maintenance is now on my permanent to-do list.  So for the two of you that are reading this, you know who you are, I credit you and my recently acquired flu, as the inspiration behind this effort.  

I have been holed up for going on two days now, which really couldnt come at a worse time. I have been training for the Tacoma marathon since January, was tapering like a champ (aka drinking cider while playing big-ball soccer), and have been injury free since forever.  Leave it to Julia, the girl I nanny for, to get ill over the weekend.  I sent her to school Monday morning, more concerned about getting her out the door than infection control, and here I am.  Let that be a lesson, kids are germy.  Turns out she had strep throat and two trips to CHWS and a bloodtest later, it has been decided I do not, but I am still blaming her.

Because if not from her, than this would be a random case of flu-like symptoms, which obviously, and I stress that last word, means I have swine flu.  You think the disease would be kinder to those that abstain for eating said carrier of the disease, but you'd be wrong.  

Back to the marathon.  So I didnt go to school yesterday, didnt go to school today, but am still thinking that a miraculous recovery by Sunday is possible.  This is strongly NOT recommended by the MD at CHWS, but as those of us who attended the school know, they arent exactly known for an outstanding level of care. Just ask Kira, who basically went blind after taking a medication they prescribed her.  Her vision came back, but my faith in their knowledge as a whole never did.  In any event, I still want to run.  How can I be the grandma who has run every single Tacoma Marathon if I only make it to year #2?  Exactly.  

Just to clarify, I used to be a huge fan of fevers, but the timing of this one may force me to add an * to the "I love fevers!" belief I once held.  Aka I love fevers!*  *Except when their sudden and random onset prohibits me from running marathons or competing in any race that takes more than one month to train for, or fulfilling life-long goals.  I think that about covers it.  

Well, the fever seems to be creeping back up, although that may be because Gomez has decided to sprawl out over my chest/forearms as I write.....